More chemistry

I had to share these I got today. These are verbatim. I didn't correct anything.

nice,sweetguy knows how to treat awomen with respect.she has to be beautiful and attractive,as long she knows to respect
im simple guy ,attractive,nice,family oriented,honest,sense of humor,sensitive,loooking for a simple girl that i want to spent the rest of my life,hopefully she knows how to cooks,house experienced prefered.

Horny and looking for sex without committment
Just an average guy looking for an average lady who needs more sex than she is getting. Not looking for a permanent relationship although it's not out of the question. Prefer someone who is a good conversationalist and can start up the conversation (I'm not good at starting, but can hold my own once my partner indicates an interest in any subject).

Crocodile Tears

Hey I am in a show in NYC this weekend. Here are my pieces. If you live in NYC check it out at Giant Robot.

There are a ton of good artists in the show. Everything is 5 x 7 and smaller, so should be affordable.

So buy some ART! Recession Shmesession. These are each $400 buck-a-roonies and are 5 x 7 mixed media on wood. They have sparkles on them (the words) which you cannot tell from the scans I did. They would totally look great on your wall, especially together!

Also I started doing a painting-a-day again, but only Monday thru Friday. Check it out on Freedomwig.com. Thanks.

My soulmate

The ice cream picture is random. I took it when I went to Coney Island on Monday.

I know I said I'd write about the Illustration conference but I don't feel like it. Sorry. Go to Drawger and you can see what people had to say about it. It was good thing. I might write something next week.

OK so I am still doing the online dating thing for another month (They don't give refunds). There seem to be a few normal nice guys amongst the countless FREAKS, but I don't think it is where I will find someone groovy to hang out with. Thankfully the freaks are providing me with hours of amusement. Yes I feel a little bad making fun of the profiles I get, but I can't help it. They make me sad and amazed and a little scared.

One more thing, what is the deal with the obsession with "soulmates?" Did I tell you I can't stand it when people say they are looking for a "soulmate." Jeez-loo-EEZE.

OK so which one of these fellas should I date? I have so many to share. I'll post more later.

"I am handsome, attractive, self confident, charming, spontaneous, young at heart, fun, outgoing, witty, established, focused, and strong willed rolled into one. But, who doesn’t claim to be all these things on this site? The truth i that I do possess all of these qualities; although I am human and they may not all be apparent all of the time. Your friends and family will love me, and I believe you could grow to love me too. But, let’s not rush things. I don’t even know your name yet?" Enough about me. So what do you think about me?

"Gifted Man seeks Gifted Woman. I'm an easy going debonair man of many talents. But I don't take myself too seriously. I am passionate about passionate people. I love to have fun and I’m very spontaneous as well as a great dancer. I can dance to any style of music, but being from Chicago, I truly love a strong ballad to slow dance too." Is Chicago known for men slow dancing to strong ballads they truly love?

"Don't worry, be happy! Lets see I'm a single hispanic guy. I have NO skeletons in the closet and NO criminal record. I like going to the movies, the theatre, traveling, outdoors, wine tasting. I don't like smokers, lies, confrontations. I collect coins and cookbooks (Yesssss I like to cook). I like music, pretty much all types, but classic rock is my alltime favorite. Simple guy huuu!" Thank god, NO criminal record huuuu!

"I love children and have adopted a kind and gentle princess (see pic) who is 6 yo. My princess’ royal court includes a nanny and grandma, who lives a mile away. I’m looking for a nurturing, slender, sensual, intellectually curious woman, who will be my life partner. My idea of fulfillment is connecting with my soul mate, working on my research, spending time with family, and eating hot apple pie with mounds of half-melted vanilla ice cream. You, my future partner, understand that your support and passion allow my creativity and productivity to soar, making you a partner in the successes of my research and clinical programs. In turn I try to take care of you in the ways important to you. What quirks do I have? Well…..I love hot, steamy showers. I deal with whatever issues bubble up. It’s also my most creative time. If the womb was any thing this, it’s no wonder that I was two weeks late!"
What the HELL? This one scares me the MOST. You should see his picture. Truly disturbing.

Home

I just got home today after being in NYC since last Sunday. I plan to write some stuff about the Illustration Conference tomorrow. Need to get back on Cally time today.

Gawker

Hey my art is on Gawker. Well indirectly, thru YouTube. I did some illos for Rob Kutner's new book "Apocalypse How" and he did a YouTube promo using them. Does this mean I am hip? Heck YEAH! I am particularly fond of the human shirt illo. Borderline genius. Ha.

New York / ICON5

Hey I am going to be in NYC from June 30 - July 8 for the Illustration Conference. If you are going Angela Edwards, who is going to the conference, but has never been to NYC, set up a forum for people attending the conference to touch base and share tips etc. Click here if you want to sign up and share.

It is an unofficial forum. Yeehaw!

Oh yes, I have decided to collect the best of my Chemistry matches. I don't know what I'll do with them but it is giving me hours of amusement.

Lates

Martha

MY perfect Chemistry match.

I apologize in advance for all the swearing.

OK. I think I am a pretty nice not so gross person, but goddamn it I can't take it anymore. I tried online dating one more time and for the love of god what the hell is going on in the world??? JEEZ USSSS. I need to swear. What the FUCK!!!!!????

Read the profile below that was sent to me today. It was sent to me because the questionnaire I took says we are a perfect match. The camel's back done be broke. This is not the first of these I have received. There's plenty more where it came from. This is the one that pushed me over the goddamn edge. It seems Los Angeles is jam-packed with single middle-aged sally TOOL men. I know. I am being so mean, but "sweetie" here has cracked.

So now I don't give a shit if I never go on another date EVER AGAIN for infinity. MOther F-ING G-D C-SUCKing SHIT CRAP Son of a BITCH. I am going to hell. Somebody put me out of my misery. PLEEZE! I give up. I am not bitter REALLY just gonna never go on a date again. This guy ruined it for me forever. Some booby renaissance milady needs to smack him HARD in his charming prince ASS libation.

Your Wish = My Command
Hi Sweetie, please allow me to introduce myself. I'm Prince Charming! Certainly, you be the judge.

May I have the next dance? But of course, coffee, tea - a libation - would be lovely. Now, did I mention that I'm extra funny & extra smart & extra handsome? Oh, yes, extra modest too. Downright self-effacing if you must know.

I have many sides - please allow me to introduce myself. I'm a renaissance man. I'm a seasoned actor of the stage transitioning to film and TV, happen to have an MA in Philosophy, graduated from Berkeley. I'm also a very successful advertising sales executive by day.

Right now my heart goes out to a certain dog in my life, but is poised for the companionship of a woman who is serene. As she cherishes, adores, and brightens my day with her smile I shall give likewise. Smart shall she be. With a sense of humor or I'll have none. Values her health and beauty. Likes movies, cooking together, dogs, music, the beach, exercise, the smell of eucalyptus in the forest, and her hair shall be of what color it please God.