Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Home / Dateville

I am happy to be home after a nice long break in Philadelphia. I had a fantastic time there and you will see, if you look at freedomwig (which I am updating as we speak), that I spent alot of time eating and drinking and gaining weight.

I did do my art almost every day (I doubled up at times) but some of it was very lazy work. I am still scanning and uploading and it will be completely up-to-date tomorrow.

Here is something embarrassing. I signed up for online dating today. I work so hard, I ignore people and therefore have found myself without a date in a while. I am too fun and groovy to be dateless. Will probably end up doing some art based on what happens. I hate the thought of it but gotta try something. OY! I will in dateville this month.


plushpussycat said...

Welcome back! I missed you.

I love the way you toss out scraps from your Life.

People of my generation would have as soon lived forever as solitary crones as to have instigated a "meeting". In my day a "lady" put herself "into society" and waited, more or less without expression, for a "gentleman" to call.

In some ways I pushed that convention because I went far away out of my "comfort zone" to an ART!!! School (read that as a den of iniquity) and I was born to flirt. (Flirting was suppressed in one's own territory. It caused older men to take notice and older women to faint. The flirter's reputation declined steeply almost at once.)

My first crush at Art School was on an impeccable upperclassman. He always, even in drawing classes, looked like GQ, gone one better. I shamelessly pursued him...until one day he asked me to coffee at the school's lunch room and asked me why I had been on his heels these many weeks. I gazed at him, my lashes aflutter.

He reddened and asked, "Have you never known a person who was gay?"

Girls, in those times often looked into the middle distance. I did so then and gave what I thought might be the perfect Existential answer, sure to bind his heart to mine. "I have never even known a person who was happy."

It was true. I was just weeks away from being nineteen, well read, scholarly...and did not know such a thing as a gay person existed. I got an education over that cup of coffee and afterward was more cautious with my flirting.

My son, who is a judge as well, parted from his wife of fifteen years. He found himself in the same position you describe so he joined a dating service. From it came many odd choices. Here the little introductory squibs seem to run to such stomach wrenching outpourings as "Little doe seeking her big buck." or "If you gotta haystack I will be your needle.". Those things left my son cold, thinking the dating service might not be the best of ideas.

Then he noticed an entry that seemed restrained and intelligent. From it he met the loveliest woman, an East Indian, daughter of a pair of local professors, and herself lonely and "put off" by the rat race to find companionship.

They have been together nearly two years and are so very happy and compatible. It is beyond doubtful that they would ever have gotten together had it not been for the computer opportunity.

I say go for it girl. And GOOD LUCK!

Martha Rich said...

Thank you for that. The people online tend to be a little hokey. I am not much for the whole "soulmate" sappy business. I am glad your son found someone. That gives me a little hope that not everyone online is cheesy!But then again I have friends who have married the people they met online. Thasnks for telling me your art school stories too.

plushpussycat said...

I do bet the dating turns out well. You seem to be a good natured soul. And for all the rewards of solitude tis best to have someone around.

Have you read Dorothy Parker's


I'm seventy-seven, come August,
I shall shortly be losing my bloom;
I've experienced zephyr and raw gust
And (symbolical) flood and simoom.

When you come to this time of abatement,
To this passing from Summer to Fall,
It is manners to issue a statement
As to what you got out of it all.

So I'll say, though reflection unnerves me
And pronouncements I dodge as I can,
That I think (if my memory serves me)
There was nothing more fun than a man!

In my youth, when the crescent was too wan
To embarrass with beams from above,
By the aid of some local Don Juan
I fell into the habit of love.

And I learned how to kiss and be merry- an
Education left better unsung.
My neglect of the waters Pierian
Was a scandal, when Grandma was young.

Though the shabby unbalanced the splendid,
And the bitter outmeasured the sweet,
I should certainly do as I then did,
Were I given the chance to repeat.

For contrition is hollow and wraithful,
And regret is no part of my plan,
And I think (if my memory's faithful)
There was nothing more fun than a man!


I read those lines with less gusto than I did forty years ago. Someting about their being too tightly laced with Truth.

I wrote to thank you for inviting my "stories". I shall try to edit myself. I am so well aware that old bats like me can become a pest by going overboard, going on and on.

Sometimes when the wind howls and the gates of the heart start banging it is almost too easy to reach for the keyboard. AND WRITE. Emily Dickinson called it "her letter to the world that does not write to me". Too bad Em lived before computers. Sometimes, now, amazingly, the world DOES write back.